PenSouls

I bleed ink

Category: Poems

Rehabilitation

I want to change the world,

help people who have no one else

I want to be the smile surrounded by tears

I want to be the courage, that drowns out fears

I want the broken and the bruised

the destroyed and the abused

the depressed and the confused

to come and listen

to this story all my own

 

I’ve been ripped down to my bones

stripped of all I ever was

taunted and tormented by the thoughts of what he did

what he does

The guilt, it eats my soul

surrounds my being,

swallows me whole.

I did nothing, out of fear

and now everything seems clear

what I should have done and didn’t

what I could have done but wouldn’t

I guess I use this lame excuse

that the sexual abuse

clouded and took over

but from that day I’ve known the truth

 

I’ll make something good come from this

help people like me

see that they are in control,

stand up, smile, and believe

you can still change the world

 

Yeah that’s my hope…my story,

in all its sad and beautiful glory

Third Person Plural

They say I’m only happy when I’m high

they say I’m always falling for the wrong guy

they don’t know that what they say

makes me cry

they don’t know that the drugs

are the only thing that gets me by

they don’t know I lay in bed each night

in a living hell

no way to break away

no way to break the spell

they comment but they don’t understand

who I am is not who I planned

they look but they don’t see

the scars buried deep inside me

yeah, they say I’m only happy when I’m high

but they don’t know how fucking hard I try

Temporarily Escaping

I take a deep breath and then exhale

The smoke burns as it exists my lungs

My mind starts to swirl and my eye start to close

as I fight off all these emotions

my hand is still shaking

as I lift to my lips

the red ended escape from existence

and I take another deep breath and then exhale

as the smoke leaves its gift in my blood,

now my minds real distracted,

my eyes still glued closed

the emotions eating me whole

I drop my escape,

put it out with my foot

and then exhale and open my eyes.

scattered thoughts

“I love you”
Is the first step to heartbreak

Pride is not always a downfall
Trust is not always a good quality

Dr Pepper is a vice
Independence can be vanity

Insults can be humorous
And jokes can make you cry

Comfort can come in a phone call
Or a smile from a stranger

Laughing can cure sickness
And a perfect hug can heal anything

To believe in nothing
Is harder than to believe in everything

Some things just aren’t worth it
Never say never

No matter what women say
We all love flowers

“We can still be friends”
Means good bye

Don’t fear the inevitable
Embrace any chance to travel

A picture really can say a thousand words
And sometimes words just aren’t good enough

If you trusted them enough to get hurt
Then deep down you love them enough to forgive

Never, ever give up
Believe in yourself – or no one else will

If you really love someone
Tell them

Music has the ability

To make or break a teardrop

 You have to love yourself

Before you can truly love someone else

Friends mean more than money
Speeding doesn’t always get you there faster

Wealth is over rated
Rich doesn’t mean happiness

Love is a matter of opinion
And honesty is near impossible
Sticks and stones can break a bone

But words can break a heart

War

Old men were once young, but it is uncertain if young men will reach old age.” Democritus

 

Three months is plenty of time

to train a boy to die

give him a gun

and no sleep

and he’ll be ready to fight

 

Three months is plenty of time

to train a boy to kill

send him out in the wild

destroy and rebuild

he’ll be ready to fight

 

Three years is plenty of time

to stain their sand red

send them out to the desert

to join the rest of our dead

there’s always someone else

willing to fight

Just Ask Alice

Every day I’ll be posting. Short stories, poems, quotes, or even random Alice thoughts. If you have any questions, feel free to comment on any of my Go Ask Alice posts, including this one. My goal is to help people who need some advice, make someone feel better, or just write about something you want to hear about. So feel free to ask any questions about anything and if I can help or write about it, just let me know.

Alice is my way of getting out all these crazy thoughts inside my head. These lyrics and rhythms and words, and stories and day dreams and hopes….hope. Try to remember, if nothing else, that it will eventually get better. Even if it sucks now. And YOU are strong enough to get through anything. So stay strong, and if you feel weak, lean on friends, like me.

 

Have a great evening and remember, life is beautiful…

Just ask Alice

shadows

The sky was a jealous mix

of sapphire and delicate white,

The wind tossed the leaves

in an angry dance upon the concrete.

As I reach down

to pick a perfect tulip –  

A shrill scream breaches the immobile silence.

 

I groan and reach for my alarm clock,

My hand skims the uneven surface of my nightstand -

two inches back, four to the left

third button on the top

same routine.

I press it and the room is silent.

I lay there with a vacant look

My thoughts back in dreamland

I sigh and sit up

and grab my cane,

It’s eight in the morning

the sun most likely shining bright

I rub my scarred eyes gently

For me, there’s only darkness.

Untitled Future

Baby steps

Slowly walking down the dark paved road

Full moon

Calmly lighting my way

Hiding the stars

But I know they’re still there

 

Trees parallel

Abandoned by their leaves

Their lonely branches cast shadows

That caress my footsteps

As I slowly walk away

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