PenSouls

I bleed ink

Category: Go Ask Alice

I love to laugh. They say comedy stems from deep profound sadness. They’re half way right… I do love to laugh.

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, I say a glass of wine a day keeps the doctor away.  Or maybe a bottle.

I had a dream about you last night. You were looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered. I woke up and stared to cry… because I realized it wasn’t real.

Rehabilitation

I want to change the world,

help people who have no one else

I want to be the smile surrounded by tears

I want to be the courage, that drowns out fears

I want the broken and the bruised

the destroyed and the abused

the depressed and the confused

to come and listen

to this story all my own

 

I’ve been ripped down to my bones

stripped of all I ever was

taunted and tormented by the thoughts of what he did

what he does

The guilt, it eats my soul

surrounds my being,

swallows me whole.

I did nothing, out of fear

and now everything seems clear

what I should have done and didn’t

what I could have done but wouldn’t

I guess I use this lame excuse

that the sexual abuse

clouded and took over

but from that day I’ve known the truth

 

I’ll make something good come from this

help people like me

see that they are in control,

stand up, smile, and believe

you can still change the world

 

Yeah that’s my hope…my story,

in all its sad and beautiful glory

The Girl in the Mirror

I saw a ghost today. I’ve seen them here before. Sometimes they haunt my dreams, but today it was real.

     She looked a broken, sad you might say. Like she had seen one too many ghosts herself, such an irony.
     The scars on her wrist, told me shed been through hell, most likely more than once. The scars on her back and the scars on her legs told me that most of the scars weren’t her own, rather they were ones others had given her.
      But that wasn’t the saddest part, the saddest part were the scars inside her soul, those told me the saddest tales. Ones of an incomprehendable childhood, one where her wings were clipped and her intellect and free will destroyed with rules and commands a century old. The scars told me stories of trust, of laughter, and of faith. All in a world that teased and taunted her with such things but never let her have it. Trust? It had been broken with lies, cheating, and something so dark and buried so deep, no one truly wanted to know what caused them. Laughter? It had been drown out by the thousands of tears cried alone…in vain. And the faith? The faith was the hardest to understand. Faith in the world. Faith in people. Faith in the future. Faith in herself. All lost in a thousand moments of watching people fail her. People disappoint her. People leave her. Until she understood the only one she could count on was herself. I felt my heart buckle.
     And just as I was about to look away, not able to contain my emotions from the sight of such a damaged and eerily familiar little ghost, I looked into her eyes, and I saw something I cant explain. It stopped my breathing, and I’m almost sure my already buckled heart skipped a beat or two. Because as I stared into her eyes, despite her broken heart, her broken trust, her broken beliefs, and her broken mind, her eyes told a different story, one that I wanted to hear, a story of a part of her that wasn’t broken…her spirit.

Honesty

I’m over you. I promise, I despise you…or something of that nature.  I don’t want to be yours… I’m not lying.  Pretty sure you love someone else so I’m no longer trying to see why you gave up on us. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt your arms, your love, your smile, and I swear I’m truly over it. I’ll waste no more time,  crying out my eyes. I think I’ve paid the price of trusting. and yes maybe when you walked by just then and gave me that slight smile, I flashed… I felt your lips on mine, all over again… And I realized the truth, probably a fact of life,  no matter who you love, or even I ,  there will always be a part of us that will love each other till we die.

I don’t want you back. I don’t even miss you. But yes, when I see you, the echo of love… it just gets me.

Just Ask Alice

Every day I’ll be posting. Short stories, poems, quotes, or even random Alice thoughts. If you have any questions, feel free to comment on any of my Go Ask Alice posts, including this one. My goal is to help people who need some advice, make someone feel better, or just write about something you want to hear about. So feel free to ask any questions about anything and if I can help or write about it, just let me know.

Alice is my way of getting out all these crazy thoughts inside my head. These lyrics and rhythms and words, and stories and day dreams and hopes….hope. Try to remember, if nothing else, that it will eventually get better. Even if it sucks now. And YOU are strong enough to get through anything. So stay strong, and if you feel weak, lean on friends, like me.

 

Have a great evening and remember, life is beautiful…

Just ask Alice

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